If you’re going to tell people hike your own hike you should really mean it

The expression “hike your own hike” has become to long distance hikers what God bless the United States of America has become to the president. It sounds good and if you don’t say it, we all might think there’s something wrong with your moral compass.

HYOH, though a completely relevant expression in the live and let live world of long distance hiking, has taken such pandering abuse that when you hear someone say it, you should assume they have zero credibility.

Take, for example, the latest set of silly tips to burble forth from BP Mag: “11 Key Tips for Female Thru-Hikers.” Tip number eleven, the last tip, right at the bottom, just where the president would tell America God Bless, reads “Hike Your Own Hike.”

Look, BP, if you’re going to tell people to HYOH, you shouldn’t also be giving them tips. That is the worst example of HYOH abuse! You can’t tell people to make friends, cry, and bring extra chocolate, but then basically say “whatever, do what you want on the trail and ignore all that bullshit we just talked about.” OK, BP. Hope your sponsors sell more menstrual funnels.

Speaking of…

This article also seems to have my female long distance hiker friends brandishing spears and barf bags. According to BP, if you’re a woman long distance hiker, you might really enhance your experience by cutting your hair you can still feel so cute!, carrying that menstrual funnel/cup thingy it looks like a…..turkey baster?, not wearing underpants edgy!, and “embracing your feminine side” by wearing a skirt or shaving your legs. Stubble = Ew.

Yikes, BP. Yikes.

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